


Thank You Pekka

by mppcmanual



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Hockey Player(s), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-05 18:04:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14624133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mppcmanual/pseuds/mppcmanual
Summary: From: Pekka RinneHappy birthday Juuse.What?I check the calendar hanging on my wall. Oh damn. It is my birthday. Which means it's also the anniversary of my break up with the message sender.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely AU. Both Pekka and Juuse are not hockey players, and the time is set to be somewhere in the future.

Home sweet home.

Closing the door behind me, I stepped into the house and switched on the hallway's light.

I walk past the kitchen and head straight to my bedroom. I feel all sticky since I've been on the new site for the whole day. Stripping off the clothes stained with dirt and sweat, I walk towards the bathroom to get a long shower.

Once I'm done, I step out and get dressed. The nights are getting warmer and even the air conditioner doesn't help when it's too hot. Hopefully it would rain tonight.

I take a glance at the clock. It's only 10.30 pm on a Saturday night. I should be out drinking and having fun with my friends and maybe score someone tonight. But no. I'm too tired to even fix a decent dinner for myself. So, I opt to make a sandwich and enjoy some movies before sleep.

Tomorrow's Sunday, which means sleep all day long before another hectic week begins. I sigh thinking that I had been busy this past 2 months with the new project starting and I've been swamped with paperwork and designs and neverending meetings with my clients. No, I do not hate my job. Heck, I really love it and sometimes I feel that I can only be contented with working my off. Not that I have other kinds of life to fill my time.

Well, not since last year, at least.

Shaking my head off that thought, I switch the channels to find something interesting to watch. Considering it's weekend most of the stuff shown are for family viewing. I eventually settle for a classic action movie which I have watched for at least 5 times.

Before long, I could feel myself drifting off to sleep. I know I would get one hell of backpain when I wake up later, but at this rate I seriously don't give a damn about it.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't out that long when I feel something vibrating in the pocket of my pants. Groaning, I reach for it to see a WhatsApp notification. Why, oh why, do you have to come now?

Unlocking the phone on impulse, it takes me a while to get used to the bright light illuminating from the screen. Upon seeing the sender's ID and message, I freeze.

**_From: Pekka Rinne_ **  
_Happy birthday Juuse._

What?

I check the calendar hanging on my wall. Oh damn. It is my birthday. Which means it's also the anniversary of my break up with the message sender.

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

I put the grocery on the table. I had bought all the stuff I need for tonight's dinner. It was rare for us to spend some time together and tonight he's coming back from Vancouver after going away for two weeks, so I thought fixing some dinner date would be good. Plus, I had prepared a special surprise for him and this would be a good opportunity for me to say it to him.

I glanced at the clock. One hour till he arrived. Should be enough time to cook and get dressed.

Scanning the printed recipes I've pasted on the fridge, I quickly gathered the ingredients to start on my entrée, lamb and eggplant ragu. The recipes looked easy enough. I got the pot of water ready for my penne pasta and while waiting for the water to boil I got the garlic chopped and the eggplant diced. Once the water started boiling, I added the pasta. Then, I started working on my lamb and eggplant. Sure enough, the dish is easy to make and before long I had everything cooked. I then started working on my appetizer. Feta and cucumber nip. Easy stuff. After I'm done with the plating of the appetizer, I prepared the ingredients for my dessert - strawberry and mango parfait. I love cooking when it involved easy recipe since I'm mostly a lazy person.

Looking at the table once again and feeling satisfied, I headed to the bedroom to get myself ready. After I'm done with the shower, a text came in.

**_From: Pekka_**  
_I'm almost home, baby. Miss you._

I smiled at the screen. Great. Just need to get dressed and wait for him.

Just a minute after I finish getting dressed, the front door was flung open and there he was.

"I'm home."

Not a second passed when suddenly I was embraced in his arms with his lips pressed on mine. I missed this. I missed his scent. I missed his arms, his lips, his voice. I missed him.

"I missed you, baby. Really, really miss you." He pulled me in for another passionate kiss. Before I got the chance to melt into his arms, I lightly pushed him off me.

"I made dinner. Wanna join me?" I pulled his wrist and led him to the dining table. He gasped and when I looked at him he had an apologetic look on his face.

"Pekka, what’s wrong?"

He shook his head and pulled me in for a hug.

"Juuse, am I not the one who's supposed to prepare dinner for you? It's your birthday today. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything for you." He paused for a bit and cupped my face in his big hands before leaning in to kiss me. "Happy birthday,  baby."

I smiled. "That's alright, Pekka. Plus, there is something you can do for me later." I winked at him and his eyes widened before a laughter broke from his mouth. We got settled down and before long, the dinner was started. We chatted lightly, mostly about his trip and what we’ve been doing the past two weeks.

When we were done with the entrée, I served the parfait. Towards the end, I started thinking of my agenda. I got up from my chair and I could see him a bit bewildered by my actions. I walked towards him and whispered in his ears.

"I have a surprise for you." He moved to get up from his chair but I pushed him back. "Stay."

I retreated back to our shared bedroom and grabbed an envelope from the nightstand. This is it.

I walked back to the kitchen to see him finishing his parfait. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck while placing the envelope in front of him and whispered in his ears.

"Open it."

I walked around him and plopped onto his lap. He eyed me for a while and slowly reached out for the envelope. I gave him a nod to encourage him and he carefully took out the envelope's content.

Once he saw what they were, I heard him gasped and I could feel him tensed underneath me.

"What - how do you get this? Juuse, this is not what it looks like." The panicked look, the stutters, the sweat forming on his forehead, the frown between his eyebrows.

"What do you think? Pekka, this is exactly what it looks like. Now do me a favor and tell me exactly what it is." I tried my hardest to maintain my calm voice although I'm torn between laughing out loud at his reactions and spitting words of anger to his face.

An awkward silence filled the atmosphere. He got more nervous and I could tell by the look on his face, he's trying to find some made up things to tell me. "He's just a friend, Juuse. Nothing happened between us. I swear."

I leaned forward and kissed him full on his lips, taking him by surprise.

"Pekka, I know you've been seeing this guy for a while now. I know you met him several times a week during lunch. I know you brought him back to this apartment a few times before. And I know you've gone to Vancouver with him for a vacation, not for work. I know Pekka, I know. And it breaks my heart because you dare cheat on me and lie to me. I told you when we started dating that there won't be any secrets between us. Why Pekka? What did I do wrong?" At this point my voice has already started to falter and tears accumulated in my eyes, threatening to fall down my cheeks. But I need answers. So I looked him straight in his eyes. The eyes that no longer look true to me. The eyes that were clouded with guilt.

I tried to calm myself down and asked him again, not breaking eye contact. Eventually, he looked away and pushed me back a bit. Looking down, he softly said, "You were not supposed to know, Juuse."

I stared at him, hard. Neither one of us spoke and the tension increased every passing minute.

Convincing myself that this is not worth my time, I got off his lap causing him to startle and he grabbed my wrist, asking me not to leave. Asking me to forgive him. Asking me to give him a second chance. Saying that he still needed me. Saying that he still loved me.

I turned to face him with a smile on my face.

"No Pekka, you've had your chance. You went to him when you still had me, which means I'm not good enough for you. You lied to me when I specifically said there should be no secrets between us, which means you have never trusted me. You said I wasn't supposed to know. So, I'll pretend nothing ever happened. This dinner, these pictures, this relationship. I'll pretend none of this ever happened. Which means you have never been in my life. Goodbye Pekka. I expect you and all your stuff to be gone by the time I got home."

With that I grabbed my wallet and keys, and headed out to the parking lot. I got into my car and started driving off to somewhere, anywhere. This is all too much for me and the last thing I need now would be looking at his face.

But his face is the only thing that comes up to my mind. His face, looking lovingly at the face of his new lover in his arms

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Sigh. I do not even realized that much time has passed. One year, huh?

I looked at the message again. I don't know what to feel. I've never hated him that much even after all that. Yes, I may be mad at him for cheating on me and lying straight to my face, but to hate him would be a hard task for me.

Why, you ask me? Because he has once been my lover, the one who loved me and whom I loved with all my heart. He was there when I was down, he was there when I was happy, he was always there. And I'm not going to let a bad moment to stain all the good ones we made when we were still a couple. That's why I couldn't bring myself to hate him.

After that night, I didn’t go back home for 3 days. When I stepped into the house, I could feel emptiness seeped into my heart. His stuff were all gone. The kitchen was clean. Half of the wardrobe is empty. Almost like he had never been there in my life. I could easily believe it was all a dream if there wasn't a nicely wrapped box in the middle of the bed with a red ribbon on it. It took me a few minutes to reach out for it, afraid of what the contents would be.

And afraid I shall be.

There it was, a stainless steel bracelet with black ion plating the edges. On the smaller links were pieces of diamonds. On one of the bigger links, I could see _Juuse_ engraved beautifully. I touched the bracelet and lifted it out of the box. That's when I realized there was something else engraved on the inside surface of the bracelet, just on the opposite side of where my name was engraved.

_Pekka_

I couldn't help myself when tears started falling down from my eyes. The bracelet was beautiful. The engravings were beautiful. Pekka, was beautiful.

I put the bracelet back into the box, but then I saw a piece of paper stuck to the side of the box. I picked it up, opened it and started reading.

_Dear Juuse,_  
_Happy birthday baby!_

_I hope you like this bracelet. I got your name engraved on the outer surface so that you know this bracelet is yours. And I get my name engraved on the inner surface to remind you of who you belong to._

_I love you, Juuse._

_Pekka_

I spent the next half an hour crying my heart out.

And now, here I am after one year. A single man who doesn’t have anything to do on a weekend night and who also has to celebrate his birthday alone, only accompanied by a sandwich, a TV and a message from his ex-lover.

Great.

I switch off the TV and make my way to my bedroom. The thing should still be in the room. I walk to my working desk and sit on the chair. Pulling a drawer open, I saw the thing I've been looking for.

The wrapped box with the red ribbon on it.

I take it out of the drawer and set it on the desk. Slowly, I reach for the lid and sure enough the bracelet is still there.

Beautiful.

Really beautiful.

I take out my phone and start typing on it, pressing send when the message is typed.

**_From: Juuse_ **  
_Thank you Pekka_


	2. I'm Sorry Juuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From: Juuse  
> Thank you Pekka
> 
> Wait.  
> Am I seeing things?  
> Juuse... He actually replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pekka's POV of the breakup.

**_From: Juuse_ **

_Thank you Pekka_

 

Wait.

Am I seeing things?

Juuse... He actually replied.

 

* * *

 

**_To: Juuse_ **

_I'm almost home baby. Miss you_

I pressed the send button and locked my phone screen. Perfect timing as I saw the man I've been seeing for a few months now walking towards me with a big smile on his face.

"Hey. Do you really have to go? Can't you stay another night?" He wrapped his arms around my waist and put his head on my chest.

"Sorry babe. I really have to. It's my roommates' birthday and I can't leave him to celebrate alone."

He looked up to me with a pout visible. Be strong Pekka. You've seen this pout almost everyday.

"Can't I come along? You've never introduced me to your roommate."

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll introduce you to him one day. But tonight let me spend some time with him, okay?" I kissed his cute nose.

He let go of me and turned his back towards me. "Fine. Go. You love your roommate more than you love me. I knew it."

"Hey baby. Don't be mad. I promise I'll make it up to you later, okay?" No answer. I really needed to go so I closed the gap between our bodies and hugged him.

"I love you, Kevin. But for one night let me be there for my roommate and tomorrow we can spend more time together okay." I felt him relaxed in my arms. Good.

I got into a cab with my baggage and gave the address to the driver. I began to think about Juuse and Kevin.

I've been living like this for a few while now. I still love Juuse, but there was something about Kevin that got me hooked. His personality, his charms, his looks, his way in bed. Damn. That boy sure was something.

I'm not saying that Juuse lacks in all those aspects. Nope. He's perfect. But sometimes a little too perfect for me. It's really hard for us to meet each other even though we live together in his apartment. He would be very busy with his work and sometimes having to go out of town, he left me alone in the house. Even with his busy schedules, he still takes care of me and the house. He would keep everything clean and neat. He would cook my favorite dishes when he had the time to. He would tend to me when I'm sick even if he didn't get much sleep at night and have to go to work in the morning. He's always calm and collected, and he always keep his cool. He is, for a lack of better word, very matured.

Kevin, on the other hand, is a total opposite to Juuse. He's very bubbly and at times childish. The first time I met him at a Halloween party held by my office, he was wearing a very silly costume of something that looked something like a cat or raccoon or skunk (which he later confirmed as a puppy) and he was messing around with other employees. He was the one who approached me and introduced himself before he threw up on my vampire suit that Juuse had nicely picked for me. I had to leave the party and since I didn’t know where this puppy live, I had to bring him back home. Juuse was out of town, so we were alone at that time. The next morning he woke up with a major hangover and it took him a while to realize that he wasn't home. He was cute when his face blushed out of headache and embarrassment and guilt that I couldn't help myself from doting a little bit on him. Since that time, I often met him around the office and whenever Juuse wasn't home to be with me, I would ask the puppy to hang out with me. Somehow, we got hooked to each other, and here I am having two lovers who did not know of each other's existence.

My thoughts were broken when the driver stopped the cab. I handed him the fare and ran up the stairs to my other lover. I hope there's nothing suspicious on me.

It's a relief to see my fair skinned lover in front of the door, looking at me with that angelic smile I've always loved. Although two weeks spent with Kevin had been fun, I missed Juuse. His smile, his touch, his lips, his scent.

"I'm home." I didn't even realize when I got him in my arms. "I missed you baby. Really, really miss you."

He smiled and led me to the dining table. Damn. I should be the one doing all this since it's his birthday. But being the considerate boyfriend he is, he just shrugged it off. Wait. Did he say he had something for me later?

I was grateful to have him as my boyfriend. If it were Kevin, he must have thrown a fit and it would be a miracle if I could get out of it unharmed.

Juuse had definitely improved his cooking skills since college. The appetizer and the lamb pasta were totally delicious, and by the time he served the strawberry and mango parfait I was so full that I felt like I was the one celebrating a birthday.

"I have a surprise." What? Is it really not my birthday today? "Stay."

I stayed on my chair and waited for him to come out. Is he going to come out with a costume or strip dance for me? I could use some sexy Juuse time after not seeing him for two weeks. That should be good.

"Open it." Huh? What's that envelope?

I slowly reached out for it and took the contents out.

What?

What? How? Why? When did Juuse get these pictures of me and Kevin together in Vancouver? Who gave these to him?

"This is not what it looks like." The look on his face is unbelievable. It was… calm.

"Tell me exactly what it is."

Damn. How the hell he got these pictures? Did he know about Kevin? No way. I was so discreet about it. No way in hell would he know about this.

"He's just a friend." Good going Pekka. That was so convincing.

Then he kissed me. What?

"Pekka, I know you've been seeing this guy for a while now. I know you met him several times a week during lunch. I know you brought him back to this apartment a few times before. And I know you've gone there with him for a vacation, not for work. I know Pekka. I know. And it breaks my heart because you dare cheat on me and lie to me. I told you when we started dating that there won't be any secrets between us. Why Pekka? What did I do wrong?"

He sounded so broken, which made the guilt in my heart to increase tenfold. Damn it. What have you done, Pekka? What the hell were you thinking? If he had known for that long, then all this time we were together he had been in pain? In pain because of me?

He looked me straight in my eyes. Please, Juuse. Don't cry. I won't forgive myself if you cried.

To my surprise, he didn't. I was speechless. He wasn't supposed to know. He wasn't supposed to see me with Kevin.

"You were not supposed to know, Juuse."

Before I could stop those words from my mouth, I blurted it all in his face.

His expression changed. There was a hint of anger and frustration and he looked like he's about to blow out in anger.

Instead, he got up from my lap. Instinctively, I grabbed his wrist.

"No, Juuse. Don't go. Please. I'm really sorry, baby. I was so stupid. I didn’t think about your feelings. I'm sorry I hurt you. Please, please forgive me. I know I've done lots to make you hurt. Punish me, Juuse, but don't leave me. Please. I need you. I need you with me. I - I love you. Baby, I love you. Please don't go."

I prepared myself for a slap or a kick or a punch when he didn't answer me. Yet, nothing came. The only thing I got from him was a smile, then a reply.

"No Pekka, you've had your chance. Goodbye Pekka. I expect you and all your stuff to be gone by the time I got home."

I froze in my spot. No, Juuse. Don't do this. I saw him grabbed his wallet and keys and headed out.

I didn't know how long I stood there in the middle of the dining area, but when I got my senses back I realized that Juuse had gone.

My love Juuse.

My love that I've hurt.

My love that has given me everything I need.

My love that has now gone because I was so stupid.

I spent the night on the floor, regretting everything.

When I woke up, it was still dark. 3.00 am. Juuse's not home. Where's he? Did something happen to him? Did he get himself hurt?

I was beginning to worry. I grabbed my phone and called his phone. No answer. Don't do this, Juuse. Please, please answer me.

After about 30 calls and 15 text messages, it dawned on me.

He had really left me.

I started to get my thoughts back. How can I be so cruel to him? All this while he knew about my affair with Kevin, but he still waited for me to come clear with it. It must be painful for him. It must have hurt him a lot. If I were in his shoes, I would punch the life out of me for cheating and lying.

I've truly messed this up.

I slowly got up and started gathering all my stuff in the apartment. Juuse might be a gentle person, but once he's made his mind nothing will stop him from following through it. And I don't want to upset him more than I've done.

Everything was gathered in the hallway. My guitar, pictures of me, trophies of my hockey tournaments, and clothes from the wardrobe. I opened my baggage and then I realized - I haven't given Juuse his birthday gift yet. I took out the wrapped box with a red ribbon on it and opened it.

A stainless steel bracelet with black ion plating the edges. On the smaller links were pieces of diamonds. On one of the bigger links, I had Juuse's name engraved and my name engraved on the inner surface. A small card is stuck at the side of the box.

I didn't get to give this to him. I didn't get to put this bracelet on him. I didn't get to see him with this bracelet. I bet he would be beautiful with this bracelet on.

I felt my chest tightened.

I dragged my feet to the bedroom, and put the box on the bed. I hope he would be able to see this.

With that, I left the apartment, along with my heart and all the memories in it.

 

* * *

 

I opened my eyes. That was exactly a year ago.

I broke up with Kevin soon after that. He didn’t really care and as far as I know he got himself another boyfriend a few days after the breakup. Well, I'm so screwed.

I tried to contact Juuse several times after that, but there has never been a reply. I guessed he really want to have nothing to do with me, huh.

I've missed him all year long. I know I messed up really badly, so I understand why he would avoid me. I would avoid me if I were him.

But then, he replied to my birthday wish.

Has he forgiven me? Will he continue to avoid me? Will he give me another chance, maybe not as a boyfriend, but just to start over?

My curiosity gets the best of me. I know I might be pushing my luck here, but I wouldn't know if I didn’t try, right?

I grab my phone and punch in a number that has never left my mind. Taking a deep breath, I press the dial button and waited.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings.

Four rings.

"Hello?"


	3. My Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm always here, Pekka.
> 
> You are my angel, Juuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter. Still in Pekka's POV.

I look at the reflection of myself in the mirror. Not too bad.

I leave the house and drive to a small cafe downtown. Once I reach my destination, I park the car. It's still 9.45 am. He won't be here for another 15 minutes.

Taking a deep breath, I step out of the car and head towards the cafe. I make my way to a table near the windows. _10 more minutes._

I'm so nervous. How do I greet him? Do I shake hands? Would it be too awkward? This is such a bad idea. Maybe I can just give him the present and leave. But what if he wants to talk? What do I do? God, help me!

I might have been too lost in thoughts that I didn't realize him coming into the cafe. Only when I hear a voice calling my name that I get back to my senses. Wait. I know that voice.

I look up and there he is. With a small smile and a questioning expression on his face. Oh yeah, I might look like an idiot fighting with myself in my head.

"Pekka, are you okay?"

No, apparently I'm not.

 

* * *

 

 

"Hello."

It's his voice. It's Juuse.

"Ehem... Hello. Juuse?"

"Yes, Pekka. It's me."

"Uhm. Hello. How are you?"

There was a momentary silence. Did he hang up?

"I'm fine, thank you. And you? By the way, thanks for the birthday wish." His voice sounded a bit restrained, but maybe it was just because of the awkwardness of this whole thing.

"I'm good, too. Am I interrupting you right now? Sorry for calling in so late."

"Oh no. You're fine. I wasn't really doing anything before you called."

"Oh. That's good, then." Clearing my throat, I continued, "Juuse, are you free tomorrow? Is it okay if I asked you out to a cafe downtown? You know, to celebrate your birthday and maybe talk for a little bit." I pause to catch a breath. "I mean, I totally understand if you didn't want to."

There was a dead silence on the other line. Damn, did I do this wrong? Is it too early for this?

"Yeah. I guess I'm free tomorrow. We can meet up."

"Really? I mean, that's great. I mean, yeah. I'll wait for you at the cafe near the university downtown. What time would be good for you?"

"Hmm. How about 10 am? Is it too late for you?"

"Oh no. 10 sounds good. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Yeah. See you. Goodnight, Pekka."

I was still in a daze when he hung up. First, he replied to my birthday wish. Second, he picked up my call. Third, he agreed to meet me tomorrow. Fourth, he wished my goodnight.

I immediately fell asleep with the biggest smile I've ever had in this past year.

 

* * *

 

 

"Pekka, are you okay?"

I feel a few shakes on my shoulder. Oh yes, he is here and he is real. I snap back to reality.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that. Please, have a sit." Smooth, Pekka. Very smooth.

He gives me a small smile before taking the place opposite me. He still looks the same. He still smells the same. He is still the same Juuse I loved. _Damn, Pekka, focus._

"Do you want anything? I can order them for you."

"Anything is fine by me."

I nod and excuse myself to the counter.

I get myself cinnamon french toast with caramelized peaches and steamed apple cider. For Juuse, I get him mixed berry crepes with mascarpone and his favorite mint hot chocolate. I also get a mango cheesecake for his birthday. I know how much he loves fruit. _You knew, he might change._ Not helping, brain.

I then retreat back to the table, almost hitting the leg of it when sitting down and actually manage to hit my elbow at the edge of the table. Damn nerves!

"Pekka, are you sure you are okay?" I can see him trying to hide his amusement.

"Yes, I'm fine. Maybe, just nervous."

This time he let out a chuckle. "Why are you nervous? This isn't the first time we meet. I've never seen you like this before. Are you sure you are the real Pekka Rinne and not some posers?"

I can feel heat sneaking up my cheeks. Oh well, what a small price to pay in exchange for the sound of his laughter.

Before I get to reply to his question, our ordered drinks arrive. His face lights up then he sees the mint hot chocolate and mutters a small thank you before taking a sip. _Damn, he's cute._

A few moments after that our food arrive. He looks at the food with wide eyes, seemingly excited with the variety of fruits in the dishes. Nothing much can get him this excited, and I'm mentally patting myself on the back for at least getting this right.

"Eat up. This mango cheesecake is for your birthday. Sorry I can't get any candles. Anyway, happy birthday, Juuse."

His eyes crinkle as he smiles wide. It's nice to see him this happy.

"Thank you, Pekka. This is really nice. I didn't even remember that today's my birthday." His voice goes a little quieter towards the end. Of course he wouldn't remember his own birthday. It would just remind him of his pain.

The pain caused by me.

Whatever I'm feeling on the inside must have been so obvious on my face as he quickly straightens up.

"Don't worry, Pekka. I didn't remember because I've been too busy with work. Not because I don't want to."

I choked on my saliva. What did I do to deserve this angel?

"I hope you take care of your health. I know how much you love your work, but don't overwork yourself and get sick."

He smiles. "Don't worry. I won't. So, how's your work going?"

"Same old, same old. We just made a deal with another company for a collab on some projects up north. Hopefully that would turn out okay. Then we'll get busy for the next 3 or 4 months."

"That's good."

I nod in agreement. I watch him take a bite of his crepe. He chews it slowly, savoring the taste and hopefully enjoying the relaxed atmosphere in the cafe.

When I asked him last night to meet today, I didn't expect it to be so... normal. It's almost unbelievable that he would get so comfortable with me after everything I've done to him.

I've already finished my toast and seeing him almost done with his berry crepes, I get an idea for the cake.

"Hey Juuse, can you wait up for a bit? I'll be back. Don't touch the cake." I get up quickly, and within minutes I get back with a small stick carved out of a very large strawberry.

"Here. We can use this as the candle. Instead of blowing on it, you can eat it after you make a wish." I placed the strawberry stick on the mango cheesecake. He laughs at my idea. I then lift the cake closer to his face. "Okay, ready? Now make a wish."

He closes his eyes before opening them and picks at the candle and bites it. He looks like a happy kid with his wide eyes and even wider smile.

"Thank you Pekka."

Feeling a blush creeping up my neck, I croak out a little, "No problem."

After finishing everything on the table, I ask Juuse for a walk in which he agrees to. There's a nearby park with a large lake in the middle of it. Luckily, it's not so hot today. We walk while talking about random things and after a while we decide to sit on one of the benches, looking out towards the lake, watching birds flying in all directions with some landing on the ground to rest.

"Hey Juuse. Can I say something?"

He looks in my direction and nods.

"I know this is something that is long overdue, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I've done to you. I shouldn't have hurt you the way I did. I was too lost in my feelings for Kevin that I didn't consider your feelings. I knew I was the one who started our relationship. I was the first to fall in love with you. But then I just throw everything away for something as temporary as Kevin. And I know this sounds quite like a cliche, but I never realized how much you mean to me until the moment you walked out of your apartment, leaving me alone. I don't know how you can be that strong. I mean, keeping it all to yourself, waiting for me to confess while still taking care of me, and having to have a broken relationship by the end of the day. It was all too much." I pause to look at his face, searching for any reaction. 

None.

I decide to continue. "It was very cruel of me to that to you. I'm sorry."

Seeing his blank expression, I know I have done something wrong, again. Who am I kidding? I will punch me in the face if I were in Juuse's shoes right now. Goddammit Pekka, why can't you do something right for once? However, his voice startles me when he replies.

"It's alright, Pekka. When I think about it, I might have been at fault too. I left you a lot when I got busy with work. I refused to follow you to hang out and stuff. And I knew you might have been disappointed with my request of not telling anybody about our relationship. It was unfair for you, and that's why I thought it's understandable for you to find someone else."

"Weren't you mad at me for cheating on you? Don't you hate me after all I've done to you?"

He takes a few seconds to react, and then he smiles.

"I wasn't mad because you found someone else. I was mad because you didn't tell me the truth about it, and then you lied to me. I would be okay with it if you told me you found someone else who caught your attention. I would like to hear it from your own mouth instead of having to find out about it from someone else. And no, I can never bring myself to hate you. I loved you at that time, but I knew everything has to come to an end eventually. It's just, our end comes faster than what I had hoped for. You are a nice person, Pekka. You are gentle, caring, loving. Your only mistake was not being truthful to me. I can't hate you for that. I wouldn't trade all our good memories for one bad mistake your made."

Gulp. How can you be so nice to me, Juuse? How can I ever deserve you?

"Is that why you agreed to see me today? Don't you feel awkward after all that had happened?"

"Do you? I don't because what ended between us was the love relationship.I started to know you as a friend, then we moved on to being lovers. When we stopped being lover, it's only fair for us to be back as friends. I know I've never really responded to your calls or messages. I needed time to set my heart straight."

I feel my chest tighten. What have I done? I've wasted Juuse's love for me. I was blind. So stupid.

I don't know what really happens when suddenly I feel something warm touching my left wrist. I look up to see him so close to me, our knees almost touching. He looks me straight in the eyes. His blue eyes, so gentle, so loving. I don't know if those gazes are for me, though. Not until he lifts his left hand to my right cheek, and pulls me to look at him.

"I've forgiven you, Pekka. I think it's time for you to forgive yourself. Don't worry, you have never lost me. I'm always her, be it as a lover or a friend. I'm always here for you."

Only then I realize that he has worn the steel bracelet with his name's engraving on his left wrist, hidden by the long sleeve of his shirt.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with this angel.

_My angel._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter for this work.  
> This was based on a true story. I might not have the happy ending I wished for, but I hope you readers enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it.
> 
> Comments and kudos are loved!

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for another fandom, but have since moved on. I found the story to fit Pekka and Juuse, so I replaced the original characters with these two. If anybody had read this from the other fiction site, please don't be alarmed. It's still the same person.


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